"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of JFJ.
In order to assist you in connecting the right JFJ staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:
To hear lies about former JFJ staff members - Press 1
To hear the reasons for why a particular JFJ staff member did not work out - Press 2
To hear complaints about about a former JFJ staff member's performance - Press 3
To hear phones thrown through plate glass windows - Press 4
To ask why you didn't get this information in a JFJ newsletter - Press 5
If you want us to continue to abuse JFJ staff - Press 6
If you want us to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
To request another JFJ postcard for the third time this year- Press 8
To complain about the cramped quarters in the LWW bus - Press 9
To complain about expensive JFJ executive lunches - Press 0
If you realize this is the real world and that former JFJ staff must be the ones to blame for our behavior, hang up and have a nice day!"
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