Friday, January 05, 2007

Indifference to Others

One of the primary characteristics of the Destructive Narcissistic Pattern (DNP) that Nina Brown describes is indifference to others. She points out three examples of indifference to others that many of you may recognize: boundary violations, exploitation of others, and lack of empathy.

Boundary violations occur when someone's personal space (physical or psychological space) is invaded by another person.

A boss putting his or her arm around you would almost always be a boundary problem.

A coworker or boss coming into your office or cubicle without knocking (especially if your door is closed or if you are clearly working in a focused way on a project) and immediately demands your attention and time would be a boundary intrusion.

A boss comes to your home late at night or very early in the morning, without calling first, and gives you work to do or demands your time.

These may seem innocuous to some readers, but they are evidence of a lack of respect for your personal space and an intrusion of your privacy. (Of course, sexual harassment and physical violence are also boundary violations, but all of us know that these kinds of things NEVER happened in JFJ).

Some other boundary problems that Brown describes:

Not asking permission before borrowing or picking up others' possessions.

Making comments about others' personal characteristics.

Making jokes at others' expense.

Touching someone without their permission.

Speaking for others.

I'll write more about the DNP in the coming days.


Anonymous said...

I am posting anonymously on purpose. I am sure that many who read this blog understand why I might be motivated to do so. I experienced many of the events which are described in this post and in the previous one. It took me a long time to overcome my experiences and I can still experience bad days and "flashbacks."

However, I want to offer hope and comfort to those still struggling. Through Messiah Jesus' grace, a lot of prayer, the support of friends and family, and time, I have overcome. I still struggle at times with anger and other emotions which are a result of being in a cult-like environment but those days are fewer in number and farther apart in occurrence. Stay strong. Don't lose your faith in Messiah Jesus and know that through Him you are and have been set free. God bless.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, my friend.