Thursday, February 10, 2005

JFJ Friendships -- were they real friendships?

During my first few weeks with JFJ, I was asked by my Branch leader how things were going one night for me and my spouse. I replied that moving to a new place and adjusting was difficult and we'd found a church and hoped to make friends there eventually.

I was told at that point, that in JFJ, we were not expected or really permitted to make friendships with outsiders and all new friendships we made while living in the new city we'd settled in should be with those on JFJ staff.

Of course, we obeyed this directive/suggestion and as time went on, we thought we'd made some neat friendships among the JFJ staff. Afterall, JFJ staff was our family. I admit I remember having some neat holiday celebrations with JFJ staff, eating some good meals together, and also doing some fun things together once in awhile. In fact, sometimes the social part of JFJ is what kept me and my spouse from not dreading our lives when we were with JFJ.

When we left JFJ staff, we were disappointed. Some JFJ staff, who we really thought of as friends, dropped us. We didn't have much in common and JFJ staff business was no longer our business.

As time has passed, we've been shunned by some people we loved dearly. That is why people we've been contact with through Ex Jews for Jesus have been so important to us. Through Ex Jews for Jesus, the common bond that once linked us has been rekindled and we've realized that some of the friendships we made indeed were real.


http://exjewsforjesus.org/

http://exjewsforjesus.blogspot.com

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

When I left Jews for Jesus staff there was ONE person who maintained contact with me. The only reason that person did stay in touch was because they were upset by many of the un-Christian ways things were done, both to that person and others around that person.

They wanted to stay in touch with me because I was a dose of reality. I was an anker to the real world that they knew they needed to have in the near future.

I am happy that person is now involved with Ex-Jews for Jesus. This person is the only friend I have remaining from my time in Jews for Jesus. Also, being able to connect with people from other Era's of Jews for Jesus has been very therapeutic. It is so nice to know that what I and my friend experienced has nothing to do with us! We were victims of an organization that sucked us in with lies and deception, then intentionally hurt us and told us that we were the one's with the problems.

Being involved with Ex-Jews for Jesus has showed me that those horrible experiences are shared by many dozens, indeed, many hundreds of former staff and volunteers of this horrible organization called Jews for Jesus.

Anonymous said...

Yes, although the friendships we made in JFJ may not have been real, the ones we've made through Ex Jews for Jesus are real.

One thing I've noticed is that there is no time limit on real friendships. People in Ex Jews for Jesus, even the ones who are paid missionaries or ministers, take time to talk and care about people. There are no one hour time limits and there is no "I'm busy now, but we'll talk later" replies.

We discuss a lot more than JFJ (or ex-jfj) with one another. We rejoice in happy moments and cry with people when the sad moments occur.

Some of the people involved with Ex Jews for Jesus are people I've never met face to face, but I trust these people more than anyone in the JFJ organization or who is closely tied to JFJ.

I'm not being evaluated or controlled by the friends I've made through
Ex Jews for Jesus. We all know what the JFJ organization did to us and are there to help one another deal with the anger, sadness, or feelings of failure that still may remain in our being.

Yes, the common link we have because of our experiences with JFJ links different generations of people that once served with that organization.

And yes, that organization, I agree...is horrible.

Anonymous said...

I've heard a number of the rumors spread in Jews for Jesus about me. They sound a lot like the rumors I once believed about former staff who left the organization.

It is so sad that we accepted the words of Jews for Jesus leadership, rather than doing what the Word of God tells us to do and sift everything we hear through the Word of God itself. Telling us to not receive an evil report, to not listen to gossip.

I am so happy that I've connected with so many of those people Jews for Jesus once had me believing were "enemies of the faith" just because they "left Jews for Jesus as bad leavers."

Now I look at those former staff people as men and women of integrity who followed their conscience in GOD rather than listening to the word of directives of man.

Anonymous said...

There are a number of former friends of mine from Jews for Jesus who have left staff themselves. They haven't returned any of my calls or emails. I have heard through mutual acquaintance that they still believe the lies and slanders told about me by Jews for Jesus leadership.