Friday, March 18, 2005

Automated JFJ answering machine parody

"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of JFJ.

In order to assist you in connecting the right JFJ staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:

To hear lies about former JFJ staff members - Press 1

To hear the reasons for why a particular JFJ staff member did not work out - Press 2

To hear complaints about about a former JFJ staff member's performance - Press 3

To hear phones thrown through plate glass windows - Press 4

To ask why you didn't get this information in a JFJ newsletter - Press 5

If you want us to continue to abuse JFJ staff - Press 6

If you want us to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

To request another JFJ postcard for the third time this year- Press 8

To complain about the cramped quarters in the LWW bus - Press 9

To complain about expensive JFJ executive lunches - Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and that former JFJ staff must be the ones to blame for our behavior, hang up and have a nice day!"

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