Monday, April 18, 2005

The Sayings of Chairman Moishe

(1) You are not tired, you are bored.

(2) People do not come to your events to hear you people preach!

(3) Someone get me some sushi, NOW!

(4) The Bible says nothing about vacations.

(5) If I hear you say El Dub Dub again, I'll cram your fist down your throat!

(6) Rent in San Francisco is about the same as anywhere else.

(7) Postal cards in Five minutes!

(8) That was a hostile statement. You need to deal with your hostility.

(9) Your desktop is a fire hazard.

(10) There is a principle here for my unbiblical behavior.

(11) You are wrong and here's why....

(12) What did you learn? .... No, what you learned was ....

(13) Most of you are recreational sleepers. You need a lot less sleep than you think.

(14) Get me some sushi. NOW!

(15) Affirmation can act as a de-motivator.

(16) 45 minutes is more than anyone needs for lunch.

(17) There are 2 kinds of workers: lazy and inefficient.

(18) Desktops are not storage space.

(19) Conflicting verbal directives are no excuse for your failure.

(20) Get me some sushi. NOW!


Anonymous said...

For added bonus points, identify which ones are real quotes and which are made up.

more fun

Anonymous said...

One more Moishe-ism. "I'm going to scold you" after which he would do just that. The idea that he felt entitled to scold adults, some of them in their thirties or older, and that these individuals put up with this kind of treatment, with others who knew of the scoldings also putting up with it, is appalling. Here we were, adults, and we were being treated like children. Who the hell did Moishe think he was to scold us?? And who did we think we were, or were not, that we put up with this? Amazing, I say.

Anonymous said...

How about this one spoken to my missionary training class in 1997:

"I don't know if Jesus is really the Messiah. I just think he is the most likely candidate."

Anonymous said...

My favorite Moishe quote is "I'm going too tell you something, and if you ever tell anyone I ever said this I'll call you a liar!....."

Anonymous said...

if moishe rosen really said that he wasn't sure if jesus is the messiah, but is the most likely candidate, and that can be verified by two or three witnesses, then why isn't it bigger news? it would seem to me that those who support the organization would want to know that the founder of the most "cutting edge" mission to the jews does not have "assurance" but is just "betting" on a "probability."
if it's just a probability, why devote one's life to it? imagine the apostle paul saying, "i think it was jesus that spoke to me on the road to damascus, so i think i'll spend my life on an emotional hunch." or "to live might be christ, to die might be gain (or at least i hope not loss).

Anonymous said...

To the person who said, "it would seem to me that those who support the organization would want to know that the founder of the most "cutting edge" mission to the jews does not have "assurance" but is just "betting" on a "probability."

Great question! Will you stand behind what you are implying?

Prove Jews for Jesus is a "cutting edge mission." Find the "saved" people after a "campaign."

Talk is cheap. Get the name and phone numbers of the congregations/churches who got just 5 new believers as a result of the "Behold Your God" Campaign. Just 5.

Call up the branch, otherwise you will get Susan Perlman and get no where. Ask the branch what churches they send all there "saved" to. It is up to 4 so it wouldn't be much work to call those churches up and prove us wrong.

Find out how many Jews are "saved" by the organization as a whole. 250 per year. Then ask them why they are too busy to have Bible studies for the Gentiles like they do the Jews.

You won't be able to validate their claims by inner city churches or congregations. But at least I worked for the corporation and have first hand knowledge to base my speculation from.

Anonymous said...

Anyone who knows anything about Jewish missions knows that these missions organizations have a minor role in "the cause." So let's stipulate that there are not 5 converts in churches resulting from jfj's five year publicity stunt/fund raiser.
What I am implying, if you read my comments with care, is that the churches can be bulled by jfj that discipleship is not their thing, but just spreading so called gospel seed. What would be more damaging is that rosen, by his own admission, does not have "assurance" and may not, in fact, be "saved" but is only betting that jesus is the best candidate. How would that play? "Even though our mission's founder isn't sure that jesus is god, give us your money."